september 3

mabuti ng kulang sa tulog kaysa, kulang sa gising!
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I need coffee, just to wake me up. I would need more sleep but due to unreasonable activities, which is quite a help for me i loose track of my sleeping time. Anyways, i have a work at 11am and i'll just have some coffee to stimulate my brain. My parents are away for awhile and they'll be back at night! It's Tin's birthday today!

"I'm not asking for a second chance, I'm just screaming out of my lungs." Minsan mahirap manuyo, pero pinaka the best ang sinusuyo ko. Let me pursue YOU...

words from an eighty-two years old man

"I don't want to be an educated beggar. I don't even want to be a burden to our society. I'm not competing with them, but i'm just only asking for one day that they will share with me their blessings. Maski isang araw lang na makapagtrabahao ako para sa pamilya ko." by Jan Fabilona, retired System Analyst, 82 years old

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I'm just so thankful to God that i'm able to hear this from a man who had never loose hope... He look up and didn't complain about his situation... grrr talaga. Nawasak puso ko dito!



Happy Birthday to the BEST MOM of my LIFE: Melanie Locre del Rosario (My Mom!) One of my heroes! I love you!
(I'm saving a new post only for her, i'm gonna publish it soon!)

fragmentary

i wanted to write an update here, but then i'm kinda sleepy already. late this evening i wanted to write about insecurities. so wag na lang, ayokong magbasa ng blogs ko na pagsisihan ko lang ang mga sinasabi ko dito anyways! hahaha i just put on my YM shout out: "WAKE UP INSECURE!!! hahaha arghh! Magmumuni muni na lang ako! next time a much purposeful blog (hahaha, as if!).

something I've been thinking about: "SECURITY!"
ciao! God bless!

my first ever emolument

I wasn't able to spend my off fully yesterday since we had heavy rainy all over manila! I planned to visit school and my professors but didn't got the chance to do so. Yesterday was also our pay day, but i didn't go to work because its my OFF! I spend more than an hour surfing the net and went out home by 5pm. I have seen once more the flood alng espana so I alighted at UN just to make sure my shoes won't get wet. It was hard to get into any public vehicle and after an our finally I went off to bus and go straight to the youth service. I got refreshed by His word and came out encouraged and challenged. I visited our bookstore inside our church center and got to talked to one of my former LGmate (LG=leadership group). Like what is written in the abundance of the heart the mouth speak, so di ko napigilan i-share sa kanya experience ko about work. I told her, "namimiss ko na school, iba kasi pagnagwo-work na." But then she said, "mas mabuti ka nga nagwowork na mas gusto ko yun. Mahirap siguro magwork pagsanay kang supportahan ng family mo, unlike pagself-supporting ka." Simple lang sinabi nya pero tagusan, were both the eldest in the family but she supports herself to study. Shame on me, kasi anong karapatan kong magreklamo, may mas uncomfortable situation pa pala sa akin. Hay naku rant nanaman ito, but i've learned something from her. Medyo adjusting pa rin talaga ako, ang hirap ng may boss, iniiwasan mong mabembang ka habang ang mga iba mong kasamahan hinihintay kang mabembang ng boss niyo. Bemban means to be scolded, as in tagustagusang pagdidildilan ng mali mong naggawa sa harap ng colleagues mo which is said in english (para less pain, hahaha). Anyways, medyo malayo sa title ko ang content nitong entry na ito but, infairness to me I got my first payslip working for 9 days (5 digits lang!). Next monday 2 weeks na ako sa work! Again, Lord please have mercy on me! You are my ultimate source of everything--- wisdom, strenght, knowledge, understanding, anointing My everything! Next time Lord pwedeng 6 digits na! ayun eh!

***Btw, next pay day na ako manlilibre! (".)

Changeover

Finally, I've got a work! I just didn't expected that I'll be staying in the company for 2 years. Parang wala na akong naggawa. I can't rely on my own strength now, all I know is that I can rely on HIS strength. No one knows how will I survive that two years. I'm still adjusting and in the process of getting to know my co-dentists and boss. Road Less Travelled ang drama ko ngayon. I felt sad when my friend decided not to continue her work with us. I thought that we will be working together. I'm not sure if I can call this as work, because it seems like an externship program for two years. If I will just rate my clinical skills, from 0-3; i'll give myself 0.25 for the effort to learn and willingness to be trained. It's not easy to start from the scratch, having no other dentist in the family. Sabi nila patibayan at patatagan na lang ng loob para makatagal dito. Anyways, I got my schedules already and I'm happy that I can attend the morning services every Sunday and have an off during thursdays. "Lord, strengthen my back, make my feet firmly planted, so I won't be moved by the pressure they put on me. To be a witness even in my working environment."

Closer To You

Closer to me I'm tired and I'm weak
And every breath within me is longing just to be
Closer to You
So I face the road ahead
Cause I know there's no comparing
To what's waiting at the end

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm smiling
After all I've been through
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

Closer to me I hear You whisper on the wind
You say although my life is ending
A new one will begin
Closer to You
And I know I'm not alone
Cause I can hear You in the distance
Saying, you are nearly home

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm dancing
Though my days may be few
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

Closer to me You're in the laughter and the tears
Of the ones I leave behind me
Who have prayed me through the years
Closer to You
And I know it won't be long
Till You're running down the pathway
Just to take me in Your arms

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm singing
Though my life's almost through
It's cause I'm just a day closer
I'm just a day closer
I'm just a day closer to You

My practicals.

This will just be short. To describe my practicals: CHALLENGING!
Wala na akong masasabi, I just want to thank the people who prayed for me and those who took good care of me during those two days.

To AYIE (Caryl), JOY, ate KAT and MEL: Salamat sa laht hindi nyo ako iniwan. To ate LET, DIANNE and Ate Liezl salamat sa pagsupport sa akin. At iba ko pang friends sa CEu like Eloi, Tina, Geoff and others. Sa mg Gfs ko Grace and Celle.

Kay NANENG: Thanks for being there for me when I was so down, at ayaw ko ng magtake ng exams.
Kay MAIAH: Lagi mo na lang ako natatagpuan kung hindi ako nahulog or na burn you're always there to praye for me.

Sa mga prayer supports ko: Chic (My soul sistah), Aera(and CAFEMIMERS), Tin (my only room mate), Mitra, Ate Sarah, Yam and Marcee, Ate Maya Reynos at Ate Jacq, Bill, Jared, Kuya Raul and CTJ, to my VCF UBelt at ENCM CEU family, salamat sa lahat.

At sa nangyaring accident kahapo, bro OK na ako nagpapagaling na lang. Hindi ako galit dahil aksidente naman yun, wag lang mauulit.

At sa FAMILY ko, salamat sa lahat. Lalo na sa Mom at mga Sissies ko. Sa lola ko na nagintercede for me.

Sa lahat ng tao na nakaalala na ipag-pray ako.

Whatever the results is, sasabihin ko sa inyo. Alam ko naman na tanggap nyo pa rin ako. (Nakau ang drama.)

Kay Dr. Caligagan na nag-frist aid sa akin thank you po. Sa lahat ng Prof ko na nag-encourage sa aki, lalo na kay Dr. Barcarse (one of my all time favorite prof), Dr. Alden (sa lahat ng prayers po), SALAMAT!

Sa LAHAT Salamat!

ABOVE ALL. To my Lord and Savior: Thank you for everything in my LIFE, even there were challenges and oppositions around me I know you're with me and will never let me go! Salamat po. "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still and know that I am your GOD. -Exodus 14:14"

I still believe even if I don't understand and I was hurt. Honestly may mga point na natatakot ako na parang walang kasiguraduhan. But God is in control, I need to trust Him completely. (Ibang level na ito!)



Remembrance ko during the exam yung pics dito. (Nagpapagaling na ako.)

WOW!

I just got home from the conference, indeed i'm blessed, thank you LORD!
Ms.H was there and I missed her! CEU people grabe pictures and all the pictorials, hahaha grabe addict!

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God's glory is revealed when man's destiny is fulfilled! (Com' on!)
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To sum up the message of the CAMPUS HARVEST 2008 (Manila):
To live life to the fullest:

CAMPUS HARVEST 2008

CAMPUS HARVEST 2008 (MANILA)
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While waiting for Renz nag-hunt muna ako ng pics. Last day na ng campus harvest today we are all excited for this!

Com'on next generation! Com'on CEU CAMPUS!!!

Think BIG!

   30As for God, His way is perfect! The word of the Lord is tested and tried; He is a shield to all those who take refuge and put their trust in Him.
    31For who is God except the Lord? Or who is the Rock save our God,
    32The God who girds me with strength and makes my way perfect?
    33He makes my feet like hinds' feet [able to stand firmly or make progress on the dangerous heights of testing and trouble]; He sets me securely upon my high places.
    34He teaches my hands to war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
    35You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your right hand has held me up; Your gentleness and condescension have made me great.
    36You have given plenty of room for my steps under me, that my feet would not slip.

(from psalms 18)
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Thanks to the people who supported me in prayers. My family and my friends thank you! Part I result this coming wednesday/thursday. I'm gonna wait no matter what!

For the mean time enjoy and be empowered! CAMPUS HARVEST MANILAA!!!!! Last day today!

"I live only for one name, JESUS!"
"I live only to serve Him."

next time na ako blog, pahinga muna ako!

back view

Habang kami ay nagsusunog ng kilay! Nakaw na picture mula kay ate buletlet!
Limang araw na lang at tuloy na ang laban!
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Break lang muna ako, at ng mabalikan na ulit si NDB, mga ilang pahina pa at makakatapos na din. Nawa'y mabalikan ko pa siya sa pangalawang beses. Kailangan ko bang kamustahin sina Ortho-Pedo, Endo-Perio, Juris at Pharma-Anesth! Mga higit 12-oras pa at kami'y magkikita kita na ulit para sa isa nanamang, walang tulugan! Pagbigyan na, at ako'y bangag, high na kasi nalipasan ng antok!
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Baik aral na nakalipas na ang dalwang oras!

ayus ito panoorin mo!

medyo busy lang pero i'll share something before taking the board exam 2 weeks from now!
naiyak ako dito panoorin mo!

maglubay na liezl, last na ito!

Learning it in the hard way...

Mahirap talaga sa kalooban pagmaytampo sa puso. Nainis ako sa sarili ko dahil sa galit nakakasakit ako ng damdamin. I need to drop this or else it will it me up inside. Having an irk feeling towards other people eats up energy and wasted time thinking over it again. Undergoing a lot of stress makes me cry. Whenever my heart is troubled, my sensitivity shoots up. Napapansin ko lang, sobrang iyakin ako this week. Naumpisahan last Sunday, hanggang sa ngayon naiiyak pa rin ako. Mahirap mag-sorry pagnasaktan ka at na misunderstood. I tend to reason out and think of how I feel (which makes the situation worst). Grrrrr, sobra talaga. Still small voice within me keeps on telling me this words, "Hindi ka dapat magtiis, ang sabi ko magpatawad ka." Ang hirap gawin pero yun ang nararapat. We forgive and we forget. My mom even noticed that its only now that I've been behaving like this. Hindi siya sanay at natatakot siya para sa akin. Kung kasing dali lang ng trash mode ni Luke ang magpatawad madali lang yun. Ayoko na nito, gusto ko ng matapos ito. This needs to be settled, malapit na boards namin at higit sa mahirap makapagcpncentrate sa exam, its hard to carry excess luggage. Lord, deliver me from this. Pray for me too. Parang roller coaster ride ang emotions ko ngayon. I have done something wrong, especially ang magtiis. Hindi naman sinabi ni Lord na magtiis ka lang anak. Sabi nya, "magpatawad ka anak 77x7 everyday". Hoping this will be settled soon. Liezl, don't stress yourself more!

115th Day

115th Day
April 22, 2008
Tuesday 6:33:19 PM

I had my 2nd day review in my school, about PERIODONTICS. Basically, about periodontium, the same structured shared with Endodontics (RCT). Next week we will be finishing our review class in UP, I’m gonna miss it, but I don’t want to go back there for the same reason. I’m hoping that the next time I’ll be going back there, I’ll be helping out students who’ll be taking their board exam. (“,) I started my serious review yesterday, but still I’m not yet finished with my set goal for the week. Three subjects to go then, I can start with the second day sets of exam. I had some regret, since I cannot really have in-depth study on the said subjects. Medyo emo mode ang last blog ko sa blogger. Nakakatawa, medyo relieve na ako ngayon. Seemingly at peace. Nakakatuwa wifi area ang room ng review so paginaantok ako nagsusurf na lang ako. Akala ng iba aral na aral na ako, kung ganoon sana hindi na ako umaattend pa ng mga review para makapagpahinga. We are hoping that our practical review will be moved after the theoretical exam. Wow, talagang hopeful na kami makakapasa kami! Ayun yun, fighting power! Com’ on FAITH!
Time may not be enough for the review but God’s grace is enough! Lumolobo talaga ako sa review puros kain gallore ata ginagawa ko. Just to be more healthy and to avoid sleeping inside the class (which is nakakahiya, since ang ibang prof ay kilala ko na!), I will cut down rice starting tomorrow. Sasanayin ko na system ko, para sa exam, hindi ako inaantok. I remember during our previous chess games, we were not given rice for lunch, kasi nga aantukin ka, Mabigat sa tyan, masarap matulog. Na-imagine nyo na ba yun? Oink! Oink!
Sa review class ko naappreciate ang ibang bagay na hindi ko maiintindihan dati. Nakakatuwang isipin na natapos ko na rin ang ibang clinical requirements na yon! On thursday magpa-file na kami sa PRC. All I can really do now is just face the challenge, I know God will help me. Nasamahan nya nga ako sa Dentistry course ko, ngayong boards pa? I need your support! This is not just a solo effort! Ka-team ko pamilya, kaibigan, LG, churchmates, students ko at lahat ng tao na tumulong sa akin mula noon hanggang sa huli! Ayun ang drama! Please stand with me in prayers! May 21-23, 2008 na ang Theoretical Exam namin! At sa June 4-5 naman ang practical! O sige, sa lahat ng nagrereview na kasama, kakilala, kaibigan ko! Kaya natin ito!!! Sabi nga, “don’t give up during crucial moments.” In humility do everything to honor God.
***
To my dear gracie, I’m sorry hindi kita na hatid sa airport! I’m gonna miss you more! I’ll be praying for you! Have peace and joy within your heart! Take care! Kahit magkaroon ka ng mga blondie na friends, don’t forget us your girlfriends!!! Paano ba yan gracie, hanggang sa muling pagkikita! Or bisitahin ka na lang namin! Ayun oh!
Ok, after one hour study mode na!

Paunawa: Wala muna akong mobile phone sa ngayon. I’m gonna use the same number pa rin. Update ko na lang kayo soon!

dulot ng stress hahahaha!

Hurtful words kill and cause intense pain.

Lahat ng tao may kapintasan. Mga katangiang kinaayawan ng iba at kinaiinis pa. Hindi lahat ng tao ay magbibigay ng oras para ikaw ay kilalanin ng higit sa nakikita ng mga mata. May mga kahinaan ang bawat tao. Minsan may mga pagkakataon na wala ka ng magawa kundi tanggapin ang salitang hindi naman talaga totoo. Kahit anong gawin mo, masakit at tatagos ito sayo. Tulog ka man o hindi. Kung ikaw, kagaya ko ay nagkakamali, welcome to the club pare. Kung ikaw ay lumagapak na, di ka nagiisa. Kung ang sukatan ng pagiging magaling ay sa gawaing bahay, pananamit, postura at iba pa. Sa ngayon ay di pa ako papasa. Natutunan ko ng hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay maiintindihan ka ng iba, minsan yung mas malapit pa sa puso mo ang tiyak na sasapol sayo. You are not given trials that you can't bear, sabi nga. Hindi ko man maintindihan ngayon, magtitiwala pa rin ako sa Kanya. Hindi nakakatulong ang magtanim ng sama ng loob. Yes, offenses are inevitable but I choose to forgive. May pagkukulang din naman ako. Kung si Joseph nga pinagbenta ng mga kapatid nya kahit wala naman siyang inisip na masama laban sa iba. Hindi pa rin ako nawawalan ng pag-asa, alam kong magpagbabago pang mangyayari. Hindi lang sa akin, kundi sa sitwasyon ko ngayon. Every places in our journey (in life) is an avenue to test one's character. Dalangin ko ngayon, pumasa ako.

Mga natutunan ko:
• Magpatawad kahit nasaktan upang di mo dalhin ito. It would induce secretion of chemical changes that causes stress.
• Mas maging maingat sa mga binibitawang salita, pagkat hindi mo na ito mababawi.
• Mas masakit ang pagusapan kang tulog at nakatalikod kaysa harapan kang kakausapin.
• Kung ang bawat masamang salitang ay basura, lalong dudumi ang mundo ngayon.
• Umiyak ka at matutong tumahan pagkat may pag-asa pa. Alalahanin na ang sariling suliranin ay di makukumpara sa hirap ng suliranin ng bansa.


Salamat.

Kapatid

annie: ay, oo nga pala bibili tayo ng frame
liezl: ano? frame nanaman, angdami dami mo ng frame ah, para saan nanaman?
annie: may bago akong dalawa dyan eh, wala pang frame
liezl: ok, so kelan ka ga-graduate?
annie: 2009
papa elner: talaga?
annie: gagraduate ng cum laude, aba 28 lang kami dati, ngayon 21 na lang.

Ayun ang aking kapatid malakas ang fighting-pilit, hahaha. She will kill me if she happens to read this one. Anyways, among the three of us, she's really the achiever since kinder. She's kinda OC when it comes to her academics, but one things that I always tell her, "ano agen, please pakihinaan naman ang pagbabasa mo. Pati ako narereview mo na." Few weeks ago she opened up to me, ranting about her two subjects. She's afraid that her prof would flunk her on those subjects. Ayun, ako naman grab the opportunity ate ken (me) to be able to give some pat on her shoulder. Sabi ko sa kanya, ako nga naranasan ko ng mag-flunk (hahaha, guess what? resto! ughhh!) Yes I flunked once, because of being late. Its a 7 am class, and I only got 1 quiz in pelims and 2 during midterms. Three out of six quizzes lang nakuha ko! Yung finals halos i-perfect ko, kaso ayun tinabla ako ng prof ko, tinawanan pa ako nung nagbibigay ng strip of paper with my grades. Seriously, after that I've learned my lesson! Masakit bumagsak at sa totoo lang ah nakakahiya sa mga magulang ko. For the record, more than one month lang po ako nakatungo at di makatingin sa magulang ko. Gracie, knows this and she was my partner during my summer class. Nag-resurrect ang grades ko sabi pa ni Mommy, "anak, magsummer ka na lang ulit ang taas ng grades mo." Nakakatawa pero tagos sa akin yun! But infairness naman sa akin ah. Kina-reer ko ang reporting kaya ayun bawing bawi! hahahaha! Ayan dyan ka magaling.

Back to my sister, she even cried and rant over her situation that day. She was aking me something in favor. I did. hahaha, konsintidor. Hindi naman, i understand her situation that time. Naalala ko lang lgi, tuwing nag-aask sila ng favor sa akin, dapat tulungan. Sabi nga ni Pastor Ed, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon hihingi ng tulong ang mga kapatid mo kaya, pagmay pagkakataon tulungan mo agad ng walang pasubali." I may not be able to attend to their needs all the time, and I'm not even a perfect BIG SIS figure for them, I still do my best to be one. Hindi man ngayon, may tamang panahon! Ayun ko po ang drama! Btw, she got her grades already and answered prayer tumaas pa ang grades niya. Masaya ako para sa kanya. I just hoe she remember what i told her. "Agen, para saan ba ang kagustuhan mo mag-excel?" "Kasi kung dahil lamang yan sa mga tao, sa mga magulang natin, may higit pang dahilan kung bakit ka dapat mag-excel." "We can't please everybody, I've tried that and i got hurt so badly." "Hanggang saan dadalhin ng sarili mong diskarte?" "Remember His words, not by might, not by power but by the Spirit of God." Afternoon, hala bumaha na ng luha. Hehehehe. Alam nyo naman ako, critic ako ng kapatid ko, kasi mas masasaktan sila kung sa iba pa nila maririnig. Thank God for His grace, hindi naman din ako extreme.

Our bunso is in Zambales right now with her friends. I just hope she'll enjoy her vacation and when she comes back, she'll be charged and be able to speak to my parents about her course! Com'on sissy!

All of us have his/her own broken grades stories. Hahaha, hindi ako nagiisa. But whatever brokeness that we have, even its not about our grade. There is someone above us who will be there to pick us up and say, "Oh anak, temporary setback lang yan, hindi pa tapos ang laban. My child, my grace is enough." Ayun! Thank you Lord!

Now, grace to study hard for the upcoming board exam. Mga friends pasama sa prayers!

94th Day of 2008

94th Day
April 1, 2008
@ www.liezldentprincess.blogger.com
TUESDAY, 1:05:14 PM
(At home)

We often face dilemma, and everyday we need to make a difficult choice. To be or not to be, what's the answers to my question? The original lines during my dear friend back in high school during her oratorical speech, "to be or not to be..and that is the question." Tomorrow will be our toga distribution, plus unexpected graduation practice. So we have a practice tomorrow, and it conflicts my review schedule. A little regret on my part, because my parents need to pay for that again and it conflicts my schedule for studying. So, I think I'll be having some resched suggestion to the review adviser (who happens to be the wife of my professor in Oral surgery).

Oral Diagnosis and Roent versus Toga distribution and Grad practice for April 8, 2008.
***
I decided to avoid the following:
Coffee and Fats. Yes, I'm guilty of excessive consumption of fats and I don't want to get to a breaking point. I'll have my general check up after passing the Board Exam (Faith ito!) so to stop this anxiety I'm having. I better love drinking water and change my eating habits before its too late. Plus the fact that neurons (brain cells) and myocytes (heart cells) are the only permanent cells in the body. This means, it can't rejuvenate once used. (***God made all things perfect, even our bodies. Imagine if this two cells were not perfect, it will just divide and it will not be balance anymore). Anyways, thanks for His grace its not yet late to be healthy.
***
I've noticed that as the days passed by, the were challenges ahead of me that I need to face. First, physical, then financial, next another aspect. I'm grateful the His words are always perfect and flawless. No regret that I have chosen to take my relationship with Him seriously. Though I'm still far from being perfect, I know His faithful and my Hope is in Him.

He checked my motives about taking the upcoming Dental Board Exam (this May for theoretical; June for practicals). Yes, admittedly I want to prove something. It was wrong, a sign of insecurity, self reliance, and trace of bitterness. First of all taking the board exam doesn't measure you whole being. Its a test of improvement, how well did one learned during his/her years studying the field of Dentistry. Second, letting go of the past experiences that brought some bitterness to some people during the practice of such scientific discipline. I'm thankful that I've finished my studies in CEU. Not only I was able to study there but just being in a university is already a privilege. God provided everything and I cannot boast anything. He made my parents as a vessel to bless my studies. Instead of reminiscing the past complains and rants, I rather have a thankful attitude at all times.

Next thing, I was really bothered by this students who had been laughing about other dental school. I don't think we have the right to judge a student according to the school he came from. Sorry, I may sound serious, OA or what ever you call it, injustice yun for me. Plus, taking the board exam for the third time is not funny so don't laugh, instead be thankful your not on her shoes. Anyways, I've been reminded again about how did Jesus acted during those situation. WWJD (what would Jesus Do). Si Lord, secure lang. He knows what to do in every moment, cause He is led by the spirit. He focus on his mission and not the destruction of the enemy, and the enemy himself. He said in psalms, "Doing something for you, bringing something to you—that's not what you're after. Being religious, acting pious—that's not what you're asking for," (from Psalm 40:6 the MSG).

So lessons learned:
1. SECURITY. God is my refuge in times of troubles. Trust (means, not being moved or distracted by situations or people) HIM and He knows what's best. Jesus as the model.
2. GRACE. His grace is enough.
3. Don't be distracted by others, just listen to God for encouragements is within His word. His presence is the most safest place to be, in the center of His will.

4 Even when the way goes through
      Death Valley,
   I'm not afraid
      when you walk at my side.
   Your trusty shepherd's crook
      makes me feel secure.
(from Psalms 23)

*Btw, i'm doing this in between my study breaks. Today is my official study mode. I wasn't able to meet my friend Bianx for our study session, due to lack of rest. Straight week of review. Well, sacrifice, for it will all be worth it in the end.

Back to study mode. (",)♥♡♥