when my better is NOT ENOUGH...

when my better is NOT ENOUGH...
EMO Day, been having unpleasant circumstances lately and its affecting me. I just caught myself late this night in a place where no one knows me and I just sat there waiting for nothing. With vanilla milk shake and large fries on the table, together with my late planner for 2009. I just miss blogging.
I’m at a point called STRUGGLING young blood dentist finding a place in a huge career. It seems like I’m the last in the line. Still too far from SUCCESS and thousands of miles from SIGNIFICANCE. = ( Being a dentist is far beyond having your LICENSE.
Don’t know where I should be going, you know the feeling of wanting to do something greater than what I’m simply doing. But I’m just watching them, and just watching. Yeah, I know there’s still a BIG place for IMPROVEMENTS. I’m just starting, been practicing for more than 7 months already.
I wanted to be tough, but I don’t want to be stiff. I wanted to be serious but not too strict. I wanted to go far but I don’t want to be egoistic and air headed. I keep reminding myself that resources matters but it should not be my goal for success. I’m missing out something, and that’s what I’m gonna find out soon.
Anyways, I MISS ALL MY FRIENDS!!! Sorry if you think I’m missing like years already I’m still here! Woaaah! Alive and kickin’
“Don’t let the strike of fears STOPS you from GOING!” ( Tama ba? as far as I could remember that’s from my favorite movie, A CINDERELLA STORY...) Pero ito mas malupit, Matthew 6:33 (eto talaga yun, nagmamatigas pa ako!!!)
P.S.
If anyone of you wants to purchase GOJI Juice Drink, let me know. CIAO!
Btw, LIEZL IS BACK!!!

september 3

mabuti ng kulang sa tulog kaysa, kulang sa gising!
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I need coffee, just to wake me up. I would need more sleep but due to unreasonable activities, which is quite a help for me i loose track of my sleeping time. Anyways, i have a work at 11am and i'll just have some coffee to stimulate my brain. My parents are away for awhile and they'll be back at night! It's Tin's birthday today!

"I'm not asking for a second chance, I'm just screaming out of my lungs." Minsan mahirap manuyo, pero pinaka the best ang sinusuyo ko. Let me pursue YOU...

words from an eighty-two years old man

"I don't want to be an educated beggar. I don't even want to be a burden to our society. I'm not competing with them, but i'm just only asking for one day that they will share with me their blessings. Maski isang araw lang na makapagtrabahao ako para sa pamilya ko." by Jan Fabilona, retired System Analyst, 82 years old

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I'm just so thankful to God that i'm able to hear this from a man who had never loose hope... He look up and didn't complain about his situation... grrr talaga. Nawasak puso ko dito!



Happy Birthday to the BEST MOM of my LIFE: Melanie Locre del Rosario (My Mom!) One of my heroes! I love you!
(I'm saving a new post only for her, i'm gonna publish it soon!)

fragmentary

i wanted to write an update here, but then i'm kinda sleepy already. late this evening i wanted to write about insecurities. so wag na lang, ayokong magbasa ng blogs ko na pagsisihan ko lang ang mga sinasabi ko dito anyways! hahaha i just put on my YM shout out: "WAKE UP INSECURE!!! hahaha arghh! Magmumuni muni na lang ako! next time a much purposeful blog (hahaha, as if!).

something I've been thinking about: "SECURITY!"
ciao! God bless!

my first ever emolument

I wasn't able to spend my off fully yesterday since we had heavy rainy all over manila! I planned to visit school and my professors but didn't got the chance to do so. Yesterday was also our pay day, but i didn't go to work because its my OFF! I spend more than an hour surfing the net and went out home by 5pm. I have seen once more the flood alng espana so I alighted at UN just to make sure my shoes won't get wet. It was hard to get into any public vehicle and after an our finally I went off to bus and go straight to the youth service. I got refreshed by His word and came out encouraged and challenged. I visited our bookstore inside our church center and got to talked to one of my former LGmate (LG=leadership group). Like what is written in the abundance of the heart the mouth speak, so di ko napigilan i-share sa kanya experience ko about work. I told her, "namimiss ko na school, iba kasi pagnagwo-work na." But then she said, "mas mabuti ka nga nagwowork na mas gusto ko yun. Mahirap siguro magwork pagsanay kang supportahan ng family mo, unlike pagself-supporting ka." Simple lang sinabi nya pero tagusan, were both the eldest in the family but she supports herself to study. Shame on me, kasi anong karapatan kong magreklamo, may mas uncomfortable situation pa pala sa akin. Hay naku rant nanaman ito, but i've learned something from her. Medyo adjusting pa rin talaga ako, ang hirap ng may boss, iniiwasan mong mabembang ka habang ang mga iba mong kasamahan hinihintay kang mabembang ng boss niyo. Bemban means to be scolded, as in tagustagusang pagdidildilan ng mali mong naggawa sa harap ng colleagues mo which is said in english (para less pain, hahaha). Anyways, medyo malayo sa title ko ang content nitong entry na ito but, infairness to me I got my first payslip working for 9 days (5 digits lang!). Next monday 2 weeks na ako sa work! Again, Lord please have mercy on me! You are my ultimate source of everything--- wisdom, strenght, knowledge, understanding, anointing My everything! Next time Lord pwedeng 6 digits na! ayun eh!

***Btw, next pay day na ako manlilibre! (".)

Changeover

Finally, I've got a work! I just didn't expected that I'll be staying in the company for 2 years. Parang wala na akong naggawa. I can't rely on my own strength now, all I know is that I can rely on HIS strength. No one knows how will I survive that two years. I'm still adjusting and in the process of getting to know my co-dentists and boss. Road Less Travelled ang drama ko ngayon. I felt sad when my friend decided not to continue her work with us. I thought that we will be working together. I'm not sure if I can call this as work, because it seems like an externship program for two years. If I will just rate my clinical skills, from 0-3; i'll give myself 0.25 for the effort to learn and willingness to be trained. It's not easy to start from the scratch, having no other dentist in the family. Sabi nila patibayan at patatagan na lang ng loob para makatagal dito. Anyways, I got my schedules already and I'm happy that I can attend the morning services every Sunday and have an off during thursdays. "Lord, strengthen my back, make my feet firmly planted, so I won't be moved by the pressure they put on me. To be a witness even in my working environment."

Closer To You

Closer to me I'm tired and I'm weak
And every breath within me is longing just to be
Closer to You
So I face the road ahead
Cause I know there's no comparing
To what's waiting at the end

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm smiling
After all I've been through
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

Closer to me I hear You whisper on the wind
You say although my life is ending
A new one will begin
Closer to You
And I know I'm not alone
Cause I can hear You in the distance
Saying, you are nearly home

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm dancing
Though my days may be few
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

Closer to me You're in the laughter and the tears
Of the ones I leave behind me
Who have prayed me through the years
Closer to You
And I know it won't be long
Till You're running down the pathway
Just to take me in Your arms

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm singing
Though my life's almost through
It's cause I'm just a day closer
I'm just a day closer
I'm just a day closer to You